


Dear Ryan, The Love Story of Brendon and Dallon

by Being_part_of_a_Fandom_is_life



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Boys In Love, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Love Triangles, Love at First Sight, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 15:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11039088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Being_part_of_a_Fandom_is_life/pseuds/Being_part_of_a_Fandom_is_life
Summary: "I think you need to fall in love with the wrong person. I think you need to fight and cry and sweat and bleed and fail. I think you need all of that so that when the right person comes along you can sigh with relief and say," Ah yes. That is how its supposed to feel."Quote from "Conversations with my Mother"





	1. Chapter 1

Brendon sat cross legged in the middle of his bed, surrounded by blank paper and pens. Tears were streaming down his face as his hand gripping the pen was shaking. His mind was going crazy over what to say, knowing that this was his last resort. His last chance to get everything out in the open, since he had no other way to talk to him. Ryan ignored his calls, texts, even emails. He knew that meant Ryan didn't want to talk to him but he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let this be the end. He would have visited him n person, but didn't know if he could deal with the rejection in person. Once was enough. But maybe just maybe Ryan would like the gesture. 

Meanwhile Ryan was on the other side of town in a similar position. Instead of a pen, he held his phone. No tears were being shed as he went through his missed calls and texts, seeing Brendon's name over and over again. The calls ranged from a minute long to ones that ran the time out. The texts were the same going from a sentence long to paragraphs and paragraphs. One constant was the I Love you in each and every message. Ryan also noticed calls and texts from Spencer, they were shorter and more to the point than Brendon's but Ryan treated them the same. After scrolling for hours, he eventually ended up calling Shane. Telling him to get him a new phone and number before taking his phone and turning it off. Which then he took it and shoved it to the back of his nightstand drawer. 

Neither of them knew sometimes with the end of a love story comes a new one. In a place not far by either of them, was a man by the name of Dallon. Who would end up changing one of their lives forever.


	2. Letter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon's first letter to Ryan.

Ryan,

It's been a week since you left, and to be honest it hasn't been easy. I don't know who I am without you. It's funny when you've been with someone for four years, every move and everything you do is somehow tied to that person. So now that you're not here anymore I don't know what to do. 

The label has given us a week break, to deal with everything before we have to work on some songs. Hopefully that will help cure me of this loneliness, going back to work. This house, our house is so empty without you. Everything reminds me of you and all of our moments spent here. From the movie marathons we would have, to the late night jam session, to all the times we wouldn't leave the bed for days. 

I even think about all the times Jon and Spencer would drop by unannounced causing me to rush from our room to my separate room. I still remember their surprised faces when I willingly gave you the master bedroom, even though we both secretly knew it would be both of ours. 

Speaking of which I'm still sleeping in the master, i tried sleeping in the other room but I couldn't. I still hope that when I wake up, it's you next to me but it hasn't happen yet.  Spencer if you're wondering is doing okay. He seems to be putting all of his focus on working. He's been calling almost every day with song and album Ideas. I get what he's doing. Sometimes the best way to move on is to focus on other things, so it doesn't hurt as much. Then again it's easier to move on when you only lost your best friend, not the love of your life. It won't be that easy for me to move. 

Then again I don't want to. I don't want to forget you and move on. Because no matter what you say or the guy's say I'm going to get you back. Even if it kills me. Okay that was dramatic but I mean it. I will do anything. Anything to get you back. 

Speaking of getting you back, I made a decision that Spencer doesn't agree with. He thinks I shouldn't keep the house. He says it's too big for one person and he thinks I need to get rid of any reminders of you and Jon. Especially since you left some of your stuff behind. I'm still staying in the master, I probably shouldn't but the first night I tried to sleep in another room but I couldn't. I wish I could tell Spence the reason I want to keep the place to get him off my back, but I know you won't like that. I decided if I wanted things to go back to the way things were i would need to keep the house. So that when you come back we could go back to normal and be how we used to be. 

Before everything changed. I've been drawing this out and not getting to what I've been wanting to say the moment you walked out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how things were at the end. I'm sorry I couldn't be happy with the way things were. I'm sorry that your attention wasn't enough and I wanted the whole world to know about us. I'm sorry I couldn't be boyfriend and bandmate you needed and deserved. I also should have never pushed the stage gay that was insensitive and mean. I knew how much you hated it yet I did anyway. 

I'm sorry for everything. You were right. You were right about everything about me. I'm selfish, attention seeking jerk.   I'm not saying all of this because I want you back. I want you back but I'm saying this because I love you Ryan. More than the world will ever now.   
I need you by my side for the rest of my life as a bandmate and a boyfriend. Please Ryan come home and come back to me. I miss you so much. I don't know if you even will get this, Shane gave me your new address and you know how reliable he is. If you do, just give me a sign. Even if it is to shoot me down.   
I really just need to hear from you again. My phone number is the same and I can't wait to hear from you.

Your sun,  
Brendon


End file.
